The value of loved ones was reinforced in my heart through Fred's passing. I try not to think about the mean client and idiot motorist who cut me off: They are not my priorities. The good love of family and friends is what life is about. Everything else is fleeting.
And, as I explained to my son the other day, that's what the holidays are about. Christmas is not about getting but about being with loved ones and watching their eyes as they receive something they cherish, something you gave them. Something you thought about.
Fred did not ask for much the past few years, and we did not exchange gifts most of our lives. The last Christmas gift I presented him with was homemade cookies. I know he cherished them.
I saw him last in January 2009, when so much was different in my life. I was at a different house, different job. I videotaped him conversing with my son. I am so thrilled to have that. That was Fred's gift to me, as he did not like to be photographed.
As I said in the eulogy, we will always remember burning chocolate candies at Christmas or perhaps Easter. We created that odd ritual/tradition as a team.
Fred's favorite holiday movie was It’s a Wonderful Life. Though for the past 16 or so years it might have seemed that Fred’s life was not so wonderful, I have to think that the time gave him pause. He returned to religion and poured his energies into writing his book.
I probably became a writer because I wanted to be like him. To me, my life has been more wonderful because of his presence. I know everyone whose lives he touched feels the same.
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