I hope this mini blog serves as an inspiration for all the
hard-working parents out there who struggle with bills, work, neighbors, the
weather, their kids’ safety, health, and happiness. Part of our happiness in
this group is getting and staying fit. Is our fitness just for health, and to
outlast our parents? Is it so we are not fat anymore, as we were as kids, when
we were teased? Or is it more than that? Is it for self-esteem?
I have been working out, outside of school “gym” class,
since a teen, but have not been truly consistent. I have been very consistent
since 2014. Last year I discovered Aaptiv. As a part of this wonderful Aaptiv
family, through all the changes that upset so many, and all the wonderful
support as well, I have seen other parents struggle. Perhaps they have a sick
child, or an overweight one, or one struggling with bullying or school work.
For me, it’s not any of those things, and I know I am very lucky.
I could not have kids of my own. I was and am (I hope) a
good stepparent. I was blessed with two wonderful children who I adopted later
in life. I have a fantastic, smart, loving and extremely strong and athletic
16-year-old son and a friendly, creative, funny, beautiful fit and bouncy
nearly six-year-old daughter. Both have served, along with Aaptiv, to inspire
me physically, particularly in the past two years.
I look up to my kids. My son Logan, who just started cross
country last fall and completed his second year at indoor track this winter,
plays tennis in the spring and summer. Is he the best? No. Does he let it get
to him? I don’t see it so much. He very maturely keeps it in, unlike some
professional athletes. He gets mad at his father and I but that’s ok. He is
cool, calm and collected, and he ran third in his age group in the 5 K in which
we both participated last February. I participated to compete with him, not to
beat him, but to share with him his new love of running, my lifelong desire, a
way to follow in my late brother’s footsteps. I adored Fred. He ran 10 miles a
day before MS took him. The day he told me about the MS I went out to run.
My daughter has sampled tennis and dabbled in soccer and
T-ball. But her main course is gymnastics. I can’t even walk without tripping
on my own two feet, so the fact that now I can complete an Ackeem running
routine and say, “That’s it? It’s DONE?” is because of my kids.
My kids and my brother inspire me. You too, Ackeem!
So when the gymnastics coach advised me yesterday, that
despite three years of the sport, my daughter is not going to advance, I was
stunned. They suggested she take trampoline and tumbling, which would mean no
more bar, which she loves. I cried. They said tumbling and jumping are her
strengths. She does not know what they are talking about. She is five. I had to
run to the bathroom to get tissues and was surrounded by parents, who I did not
want to notice me sobbing like a baby. So I stained my new top, pretending and
hoping no one noticed and if they did, that they thought it was allergies.
My friend text me back. “Michael Jordan was kicked off his
high school team.” Yes, and I know, Einstein was labeled learning disabled. “It’s
rejection/fear of not being liked/good enough/not being acknowledged for hard
work,” she continued. She experienced similar things. Her daughter was not
invited to another child’s birthday party, and her daughter did not mind. She
told her mom she barely knew this child. But her mother’s feelings were hurt.
She said she moved on and bit her tongue but wanted to slap the mother who had
left her daughter out.
I’m not gonna slap anyone, don’t worry. But last night, I
sure as heck felt like I needed to.
My friend said the T & T looks interesting. She also
said, couching her reply with “I’m not a therapist, but…” that this is about
me.
Of course it is. I know that. It’s about not being liked. It’s
about comparisons. It’s all wrong. It’s just me. I have never been truly
confident. I want my kids to win. I know my daughter wants to win. Not so much
my son, who is more laid back about sports. Reese wants to succeed.
We call her the “best gymnast in the world”. She lives and
breathes gymnastics. She is moving and jumping and climbing from the second she
wakes up to the second she goes to sleep, and she is still moving in her sleep.
She’s been like this since infancy.
But I guess she is not the best gymnast in the world, or even
the best gymnast in my town, and not the best gymnast at XX Gymnastics. I intentionally
leave off the name to be professional about it.
The coach was clear: Reese still is not holding her arms
right, her legs, not doing things consistently. Perhaps she is not flexible
enough. They said her shoulders are tight. In my mind she is saying Reese will never be a good gymnast, and they
are sloughing her off on T & T so as not to upset us and not to lose a customer.
I admit my lack of knowledge of gymnastics to say whether any
of this is the case, and I must defer to the coach. My thought is to contact
her manager and ask for an additional evaluation. Or to return to a previous
center. But the coaching there was not as good. So I am torn.
This mini blog is not about how to deal with this, however,
even though I welcome suggestions; it’s about turning to other parents to
perhaps gain perspective, or to teach them. I have done many things for a
living and find parenting to be the hardest job out there. Parenting is harder
than an Ackeem workout! 😊
As I write this, Reese is doing cartwheels. To me they seem
perfect; I guess they are not. To quote my friend, “If I had to do cartwheels
to save my life you’d be singing Amazing Grace at the service!”
After my One Step is
All it Takes with Ackeem this morning, I picked some wild phlox for Reese.
She accepts them with so much joy, and I place them in
water. I love how flox smell even though they shed everywhere. A bit of
symbolism perhaps? LOL.
Reese is all smiles, always willing to work out in her very
own gymnastics room which we gifted her last Christmas. She has improved.
So have I. I did not lose it with the gymnastics coach. And
after all, I could not believe 28 minutes with Ackeem went by that fast.
All love.
